I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
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