That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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