Taylor Swift is so right about you.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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