you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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