My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize