ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
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