Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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