So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
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I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
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