Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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