i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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