so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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