Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize