chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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