It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
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Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
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This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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