just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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