things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
tell me about the eggs
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