its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Drunk walkin through police station. America
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Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
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remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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