Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize