Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
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Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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