I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize