Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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