what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
MIDGETS
????
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize