I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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