What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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