It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize