respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I am spending my child support on dildos
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize