Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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