I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize