wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
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On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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