How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If I die, sorry about rent.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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