I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize