just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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