why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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