what day is it and did you see me today?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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