OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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