haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
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I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
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Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize