Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
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His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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