You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize