Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
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Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
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he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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