I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize