I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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