my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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