The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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