Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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