Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
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my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
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When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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