WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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