none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize