first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize