The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize