im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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